I'm blogging .... but at a new address :)

Hi ... yes, I'm at it again. But at a new location.

Please head on over to Connecticut Mom. All these posts are there, plus new stuff. Good stuff. Come on over and stay for a while.

My gift

This has been a tough year. I'll admit, I'm really not in the holiday spirit, whatever that means these days. Our family experienced loss, transition, changes. Our Christmas Day gathering will be small, and loved ones will be missed.

Besides our family changes, my own life has been hectic. Crazy. Tiring. Work, managing the girls' schedules, managing my own. Trying to find time to spend with friends, keep in touch, not lose track. Thank goodness for Facebook and text, for those who have adopted 21st century technology. For those who haven't (and you know who you are), I'm trying. But time seems to just rush by ...

I'm looking around the house today. The dining room is stacked with items for tomorrow's dinner. My office is stuffed with shopping bags, random shoes scattered on the floor, clothes piled up, boxes of paper to still be sorted. I didn't finish the work I wanted to before the holiday. I was up and out of the house by 7:15 this morning, to finish the gift shopping I couldn't get done before today.

It took us a week to get our tree up and decorated. I would like for the girls to have better memories of our holidays, instead of our random approach to things. I envy those families with their set traditions, things that they can count on. We've had a few years where our holidays were more predictable, but times are changing.

So as I was driving home from the mall this morning (the early bird gets the parking spaces and misses the crowds, by the way), I decided that the best gift I could give myself this year was this:

Accept the imperfection.

I'm not Martha Stewart. Our holidays are messy.
Did we get the tree up? Yes.
Are we baking cookies today? Yes.
Will the girls be surprised and happy on Christmas morning? Yes.

The rest really doesn't matter.

~Merry Christmas ~

~ Peace and Joy ~

Random Acts

I've been involved with music all my life. It's what lights me up, keeps me going during the day, makes me smile, makes me cry, but always fulfills me no matter what is happening in my life. I've sung with The Hartford Chorale for almost 20 years, and my favorite performances have been when we've done Handel's Messiah over the holidays. Rehearsals always leave me energized and humming the music, even the more somber pieces.

I participated in my 13th performance of Messiah this past weekend. Performing with an orchestra, 160+ voices strong, to a warm and grateful audience is enough to make my holiday season.

But I think I've topped that experience. Today, I was a part of a huge flash mob performance of the Hallelujah Chorus at our local mall. A large crowd gathered at 3:00 pm, and with the flourish of a trumpet, we were off, raising our voices to a surprised and appreciative audience. So, without further ado, I give you the Hallelujah Chorus, flash mob style:

Horses, riding, and other reasons why I need to stretch

As you know, I started riding lessons about 18 months ago. I went from a timid rider who barely posted to a trot, to now cantering on my favorite polo pony Frederica, who I will be leasing over the holidays. Riding has given me a new confidence. I haven't fallen yet, but I'm sure I'm due. As they say, it takes three falls to be a true rider. I guess I'm not even close.

I ride twice a week, for an hour on Wednesdays and a half hour on Fridays. All that riding has given me a strong legs but I'm usually sore for a couple of days afterwards. I'd just sit on the couch, say "ow ow ow" when I tried to walk, but otherwise wouldn't do anything about it.

Then a good friend of mine, after hearing me whine about my sore muscles for the hundredth time, finally said: "Why don't you stretch?"

Hmm. Why don't I stretch? I didn't even think of that. So I started slowly. I couldn't believe how much flexibility I'd lost over the last few months. But as I began to regain my flexibility, I realized how much less sore I was after each lesson. Less soreness, less whining. Win win for everyone.

Stretching. Who knew?

Oh, and the ribbons and trophy above? I won those in October - a first, a second, and class champion. After my performance last year, I never expected to do so well.

And yes, I stretched afterwards. Ahhhh.

What I'm thankful for ...

This year has not been the best. A lot of ups and downs. Loss of a close family member. Incredible work and personal stress. But despite everything, some things in my life remain constant, and that is what I'm grateful for:

A challenging full time job that allows me to work from home and be here when my family needs me ...

A 13 year old daughter who shares my interests, my jokes, and my smile ....

A 10 year old daughter whose innocence and heart of gold keeps me grounded every time she hugs me and kisses me on the cheek ...

A loving and gentle husband who's dealt with his own stress this year on top of mine, and yet still shows us every day what true strength and love really is ...

Good friends who remind me what is important in life, who lift me up when I'm down and kick me in the butt when I need it ...

A large and crazy family who reminds me where I came from and shows me what it means to take care of each other ....

And I am grateful for the person that I am becoming ... I've learned many life lessons this year. I've had my successes, I've made mistakes, and hopefully I've learned from them. Most importantly, I am grateful for the life I have and the life I share, and I hope that I will never forget that I am truly, truly blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

The girls

I missed Princess' birthday post, and this post is early for Sweet Pea, but I wanted to be sure that they each had a post from me. So like the days when I used to combine their birthday parties into one big celebration, I am doing a combined birthday post for them now ...

Dear girls,

Where does the time go? I look at you, and see all the wonder the future holds for you. I see the children that you were, the kids you are now, and I am starting to glimpse the women you will become.

Princess -

You turned 13 last month. How did that happen? When did a round cheeked talkative kindergartner become a beautiful teenager full of ambition, dreaming of Broadway, singing her way through her day?

You've overcome so much in the past few years to be the confident young lady you are now. I know how much that straight A report card meant to you. I know how much courage it took to audition for Eastern CT regional chorus. I can see your self-esteem growing with each accomplishment, and my heart swells when I see the brightness in your brown eyes, the seeds of doubt lessening with each success. There will be days when things don't come as easily, so I hope you remember the times you made it, you did it, you reached your goal. And know that I am here, cheering you on.

And yes, I do think the braces will come off before you start high school.

Sweet Pea -

In two days you will be 10. Double digits. A tween.

Fifth grade suits you. I see you on the brink of the journey your sister has already started, yet still holding on to those childhood loves that will make you so happy.

Keep building those Lego towers.

Keep playing Club Penguin.

Keep giving me a hug and kiss good night.

I've stopped holding your hand, but I will always hold your heart.

And no matter how crazy it makes me, I promise not to cut your bangs so they can finish growing out.

I love you girls -

Love always,

Mom

I'm back

Did you miss me?

Yes, it's been a few months. Our family suffered a major loss this past summer, when CT Dad's sister passed away after a very long illness. She was my age, and left two teenagers. Her death plus all the work stress that was going on at the time literally sucked the creative inspiration right out of me. I just didn't have it in me to blog any more. I stepped away from blogging, including keeping up with my favorite bloggers who also became my virtual friends over the last couple of years. I haven't looked at my reader in months.

I am grateful to those who kept in touch with me via email or in person. I needed time and they were supportive and understanding. I thought about coming back on September 1, then October 1. So why now?

A couple of weeks back, a good friend asked me when I would start writing again. I'd missed blogging on Princess' 13th birthday. When my friend asked me about the post, I mentioned again how I just didn't have the creative inspiration in me. She responded, "You know, one of the best things about your blog is that it chronicles your family's life. Your girls can look back and see those stories and relive those memories. It's important to them. It's the story of your lives."

She's right. I'm back. Happy to see you all again.