Yesterday I spent a (non)exciting day in the emergency room. First, I'm ok. Yes, they did find something that I need to get checked by my doctor, but at the most I'm looking at minor surgery. I will find out more after the holidays.
What was interesting were the random thoughts and little experiences that made up different moments of my eight hours dealing with whatever was going on with me. Those quick passing thoughts that ran through my head, which I found kind of amusing. ***
Warning - there is a bit of TMI in this post, so read at your own risk ***This all started while I was driving into work. I started getting strong stomach pain, almost as bad as labor but not quite (although at some point I thought I might be one of those people who doesn't know she's pregnant, until pain and *surprise!* a baby!). As the pain grew worse, I tried Lamaze breathing, then whistling, then banging on the steering wheel to try and divert my mind from the pain while navigating rush hour traffic. Anyone driving by me must have thought I was listening to some pretty rockin' Christmas music on my way to the office!
I managed to park and slowly walk to the shuttle, and make my way into the building to my desk. The pain came in waves, and I thought I was just having some digestive issues from the fact that I tried to eat healthy the night before by eating a whole orange with my dinner (perhaps my body was rejecting the fiber?). I made a beeline to the ladies room, where I tried to pass whatever was bothering me, and promptly threw up instead. So here I was, not knowing what end to take care of, and
praying that no one I knew would come into the ladies room, where my slacks were around my ankles and my head was in the toilet.
I managed to pull myself together and get back to my desk, where I decided that I was well enough to run a 9 am conference call. And here's how it went:
Me: Ok, so we have Jack and Jill on the call and we'll get the testing done today.
Jack: Yes, I can complete that.
Jill: I think I can do that too, and by the way, we need to resolve this issue -
Me (as another wave of pain hit):
I'msorryI'mgoingtohavetocutthiscallshorthavingsome
stomachproblemscanIcallyoubacklater?Thankseveryonebye!
I knew I was in trouble.
I managed to go down to Employee Health Services, who examined me and determined that I needed to go to the ER.
By ambulance. I was ok with that, because I was in no condition to drive, and I really couldn't wait for CT Dad. The EMT's arrived, and they promptly got me bundled on the gurney, along with my coat and laptop bag, because I wasn't going
anywhere without my laptop, I am just that dedicated.
Now after all I'd been through that morning, the last thing I wanted was to create a scene. Not that I think that I attract that much attention, but the sight of two EMT's wheeling me to the ambulance strapped to a gurney might garner a second look at least. I mentioned this to the Health Services people, and they said, "Don't worry. We have a discreet exit out of the back of the building, so you won't attract attention." Yeah, right.
The EMT's wheel me out of Employee Health Services,
and promptly go in the wrong direction. Instead of the discreet exit, they wheel me out the other hallway, which I can see will go right past the employee store, cafeteria, and main elevators. Here I am, writhing in pain, and trying to hide under the blankets, again
praying that no one I know sees me. Because dying of embarrassment would be worse than anything that might really be wrong with me.
We made it to the ER without incident, and CT Dad arrived soon after. There's the information sharing through waves of pain, the subsequent donning of the very non-flattering hospital gown, the needles, the poking and prodding. They decided that I need an ultrasound, which could take a while. They also decided that I'm one of the healthier patients there, which means I have to give up my room and hang out in the hallway next to the nurses station.
For hours.
Now granted, I don't spend a lot of time in ER's. Most of my exposure is from the TV show, with lots of activity and hustle and bustle. Traumas being rushed in, lots of requests for supplies and drugs STAT, with staff like John Stamos taking care of patients. And the ER that I was in often receives the "if it bleeds it leads" types of incidents you see reported on the news. The day I was there? Nothing. Zero. Dullsville. No excitement. Just regular emergency stuff. Not that I wanted any horrible tragedy to happen, but I must admit things were much quieter than I expected.
So CT Dad and I hung out, tried to keep ourselves busy by reading our Blackberries, random chatting and just watching time pass. Slowly. Watching paint dry, grass grow, and whatever other metaphor you can think of
slowly.
Five hours after I was admitted, it was finally time for my ultrasound. A very nice guy wheeled my bed from the ER through the myriad hallways, up an elevator to the ultrasound area. Where he left me in a hallway. Where I waited some more, had the test, waited some more in another hallway for another nice young guy to wheel me back to the same spot outside the nurses station. Where we waited for well over an hour before I was finally discharged.
I'm home and I'm fine for now, and I will find out more after I see my doctor next week. The day was a bit surreal, and I'm a little anxious to see how this will be resolved. But in the mean time, I look back at those little moments and can't help but giggle a bit. Because it doesn't matter what's wrong with me, as long as I don't embarrass myself in the process. A little dignity goes a long way.
I'm sure you're all thinking that the CT Family is so fabulous that we celebrate New Year's in such style that it makes all other family New Year's celebrations look lame in comparison.
