Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving thanks ...


This year it feels like Thanksgiving popped up the day after Halloween. For some reason, I feel like the months are just racing by, and soon we'll be decking the halls and digging out from yet another snowstorm.

I've been thinking a lot about this year, and what I'm thankful for, and what I can really do without. There are things that are going on with my family that I unfortunately can't share on my blog, in order to respect their privacy. Sometimes I wish I could just unload it all here, and read your supportive comments, and know that this, too, shall pass. And this. And this.

Even so, I have my health, a good job, and a loving family. I have my friends, both old and new, virtual and in real life. I have my music, and all that comes with it.

I have life. A good, full life. And I am most grateful for that.

Enjoy the day, take a moment to give thanks for what is good, and let go of what may not be working. For that one second.

Take the moment and drink it in.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Nine

Sweet Pea,

How did a year go by so fast? Today you are nine. A fourth grader. Your last year in elementary school.

A year that will go by so quickly. A year of endings and beginnings.

I am starting to see glimpses of who you will be. Your sweetness. Your independence. How you don't need to hold my hand all the time when we cross the street. Yet you still come to me at bedtime, asking if I can read to you.

Which I am happy to do. And my heart spills over every time you ask.

There are days when I ask you not to grow up. To stay as you are. But that isn't fair for me to ask. Just as your sister is breaking new ground, testing new boundaries, I hold on to your younger years, because I know that when you move on, we won't see those days again.

A year of firsts and lasts. Your last year in elementary school. We just had your last Harvest Parade and party. Soon, it will be your last holiday party, your last Special Persons Day concert, your last day of school. But these are firsts for you. And that's what we celebrate.

So each morning, I will spend that hour, just us, waking you, helping you with your breakfast, combing your hair, watching you play with the dogs before the bus comes. Carefree, light-hearted, laughing and giggling. Pure joy. And celebrate that day with you.

Enjoy being nine. I love the girl you are, and the girl you are becoming. Be sweet, be free.

And please pick up your clothes and put them in the hamper. Because my hope is that's the last time I'll have to ask you.

I love you - happy birthday!

Love,
Mom

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I can scratch that off my bucket list


I can't believe I'm actually writing this ...

Today I participated in my first riding show. Ever.

Every six months our barn holds a schooling show (not rated, just for the students at the barn). I never had intentions of showing when I started lessons in June. As the fall school show drew closer, I wasn't planning on showing. I just didn't think I was advanced enough (read: I really didn't want to embarrass or humiliate myself in front of an audience). Seriously. I ride for fun, and really didn't want the pressure. I'll leave that up to the girls, and just enjoy the show day at the barn.

I blame the instructors.

Well, one instructor, Lucy. She was helping at a rated home show at the barn last week, and she asked if I was showing. Of course, I said no. She then told me that she had two adult beginners in my class. I asked if either of them rode Patty (my favorite horse). And neither one did. That clinched it for me: 1) If I was going to be humiliated, at least I wouldn't be out there all by myself, and 2) I could ride Patty, who I love.

Friday I had one more lesson, and then I went out and did the most important thing any rider does right before a show. I made sure I had an outfit. Yup, show jacket and collared blouse, to go along with my riding breeches, boots and half-chaps. If I was going to do this, at least I made sure I looked good.

Today was show day. Both my girls rode earlier in the day, and took firsts and champion in their classes. Later in the afternoon, it was my turn. My horse wasn't ready, so I didn't get the chance to at least take a lap or two around the ring and work off my nerves before judging started. I mounted Patty, my instructor Stephanie fixed my irons, gave me a pat, and off I went.

I was nervous. I felt like I was all over the place. The judge called for us to walk, then posting trot. Ok, I can handle that. Then she said sitting trot, which I never do. I shot a panicked look to Stephanie, who laughed and said, "Do what you used to do before you learned to post." Um, ok. So I just bounced along until the judge told us to stop. Then we turned around and did it in the other direction. Finally they called us to the center of the ring for our results.

I came in third.

The judge gave me some tips for the next class, and I walked out of the ring on Patty, to wait. But by this time, my nerves were gone. I started to enjoy the experience, and my next class went much better. Until we were posting and the judge asked for a half-seat. Another panicked look, another reassuring comment from Stephanie, and I made it through. We turned around, did it again, and went back to the center of the ring for results.

I was hoping I'd improved enough to make second. Nope, third. But I did get reserve champion, which is a very pretty big yellow and red ribbon. Maybe I got it on pity points, but hey, I'll take it.

So now I'm home. I hung up my ribbons in my office. Not bad after barely a dozen lessons. I'm happy. One more thing to scratch off the bucket list.

Sorry for the grainy picture - 12 year old photographer :-)